And My Axe!!!!

Friends, sometimes you see something, and it is so beautiful and perfect. Not perfect in general, but perfect for a certain person in your life, and you are absolutely required to knit it.

Well, I am happy and surprised to say that such an event occurred to me in the summer of last year. It was when I was first exposed to the idea of hats with dwarf beards on them. Not only did the idea strike me as being absurdly clever, it immediately brought to mind my brother Kyle. This kid is 21, and has the worst case of beard envy ever. Why? I have no idea. He’s super cute without a beard, but I think he had this idea that men with beards are more manly? I don’t know why, but like many guys his age, he wants a beard.

Enter the dwarf beard hats. I saw one on Ravelry, and I knew that Kyle needed one. I also knew that he needed to have the most luxuriant, flowing beard imaginable, and none of the ones on Ravelry were going to cut it. Also, he has a pretty enormous head, and nothing I saw was really going to fit him. So I improvised! And this was the result.




My little brother Luke got in on the action too. His is sortof based on a pattern, but I changed the helmet part a bit and completely did my own thing with the beard. I don’t know if you can really tell, but there’s lots of little braids hidden in there. It’s very dwarfish indeed! They both look like they’re straight out of Lord of the Rings. Kyle also kindof looks like the dad from How to Train your Dragon.



They battled. It was hilarious.


Now, I knew that Kyle would love this, but I was worried that he would only love it secretly. Twenty-one year olds like to be cool, and I was concerned that something as overtly nerdy as this would have to be treated as less awesome than it actually was to maintain street cred or whatever.

I needn’t have worried. Kyle barely took the thing off for the entire day, and then only because it was too hot in the house for him to wear it constantly. He said that it was the best present ever at least fifty times. He kept spreading the beard out over his chest, and petting it. It was awesome! I took a sneaky picture of him wearing it around the house.


I thought Luke would be the one to be obsessed with it, while Kyle would love it in his heart. I don’t think that Luke was quite as pumped, but he still really liked it. He wore it to the theater when we went to see the new Hobbit movie πŸ˜›

I had told Kyle that all I wanted for Christmas was an Etsy gift card, so I could buy spinning stuff, and he had obliged, but after he opened his present, he bought me ANOTHER one, because it was the “best present ever”! I was really touched, because he’s a college student, and they’re not exactly known for having lots of money lying around. I was especially happy because I was up pretty much the whole night finishing them. I had a lot of etsy orders for Christmas, so knitting for my family was my “break knitting” during the holidays. (crazy, right?)

I will leave you with just one more thing.

Maybe he’s born with it.. Maybe it’s Maybelline.



  1. Thanks for the giggles this morning! (The video clip is priceless) I LOVE your renditions of the bearded helm. My husband is a total viking/LOTR dwarf geek, plus he teaches middle school science, so he has one of those life-size skeletons in his classroom. I desperately want to knit one of these Gimli bearded helmets for the skeleton to wear. Too creepy? πŸ™‚

    • I feel like that would be HILARIOUS. His students would love it!

  2. OMG, I love it! Especially the luxurious locks! My brother has been wanting a bearded face mask for years – just because he’s weird in all the right ways. Maybe this will be the year.

  3. Awesome. Totally, totally awesome.

  4. LOL! You are the best sister. These look like a ton of work! I’m so glad that your brothers are appropriately appreciative.

  5. That is pure awesomesauce!

  6. That’s a lot of awesome fantasy craft family love. Did I get all the proper adjectives? Amazing project to take on, and really just a touching recount of family appreciation. You all sound like very lucky people. And how about that Hobbit? Fun right? I curse Pete Jackson for all his modifications, but I’d lie if I said I didn’t think it was an a great time. Just put the audiobook on my phone πŸ™‚


  1. And My Axe!!!! | Jordan's Croft - Fiber Arts

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